The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four minutes until I can fart!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize