There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who died my cat blue again?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
