I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
