Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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