jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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