I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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