she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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