Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
