I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
