So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
