The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
