She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
