I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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