I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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