Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
