12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
