If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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