Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
