I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
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my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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