Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
