If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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