I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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