No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
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A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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