I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
