I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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