i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
