Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
