Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
