I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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