was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
