Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
