remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize