Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize