I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize