VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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