everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Holy shit dude........stairs
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
