will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
