Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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