Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
