after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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