I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
50% drunk capacity currently
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
