We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
