I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
