therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
