Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
