Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
