Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
