im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
