To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
