woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize