guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
