She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
