Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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