I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
cat food counts as protein by the way
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize