When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
