and you said cock pushups were impossible
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
