fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
