You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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