Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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